Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough
by jamielea
Summary: She knows he loves her, but is that enough?
1. Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough

As soon as the Doctor was through the door, Rose whirled on him. Her breath caught at the sight of him. While her hair and clothes were dirty and disheveled, he still looked perfect, his hair standing perfectly on end. Then she remembered her anger.

"You could have gotten yourself killed," she said glaring at him.

"But Rose, I didn't. I'm here. See." He spread his hands out as if to prove his point.

"That's not the point, Doctor. I was the team leader and you defied a direct order." She struggled to keep her voice even.

"Your direct order," he said taking a step towards her "could have gotten people killed. I think I know a little more about these things then you do."

Rose's eyes widened in shock and anger. "Is that what this is about?" She hissed. "You know it all, and we are just stupid little apes?"

The Doctor stepped back as if he had been slapped. "No, Rose. Of course not, I would never…. I didn't mean… it's just I've been dealing with this type of thing for centuries."

"Yeah, well I did OK without you for five years. Five years of learning and leading teams, and protecting this world without you."

"Really?" the Doctor snapped, his eyes darkening. "Then why did you have to come find me when the stars started going out. Doesn't seem like you had it all figured out, does it?" He crossed his arms in front of him.

Now it was Rose's turn to step back.

"How dare you throw that in my face. Do you really think that's the only reason I came to find you? Do you really think I wouldn't have done everything to get back to you, even if the stars hadn't been going out?"

The doctor sighed.

"I'm sorry Rose." He cupped his hand against her cheek. "You know I love you, don't you?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "I've always known that. But sometimes, love's not enough, yeah? Because no matter what, you'll always be the Doctor with the great big Time Lord brain, and I'll always be the little shop girl from the Estate. It's never gonna be equal between us. And I don't think I can live like that anymore."

The Doctor's shoulders slumped. He opened his mouth as if to speak. A large part of Rose hoped he would. She wanted him to use his gob to tell her how wrong she was. But he didn't. He simply closed his mouth, nodded his head, and turned towards the door. It wasn't until he had opened the door that he stopped, standing completely motionless. Rose waited, wondering if he would at least turn around to say goodbye. But instead he walked through the door, closing it softly behind him.


	2. The Space Between You and Me

The Doctor

The Doctor finished his last bite of curry and pushed the bowl away. It had become his habit to take his evening meal at this restaurant. It was cramped and run-down, but the curry was tasty and they didn't mind if he sat for hours nursing his cup of Chai.

It had been 1 month, 3 days, 22 hours, and 19 minutes since he had left Rose's apartment. He had seen her twice from afar at Torchwood since then, but either she had not seen him or she had pretended not to. He still worked for Torchwood, though mostly he did it from home. He was expanding their translation software, identifying alien tech, and safely dismantling anything he deemed too dangerous. It was boring, tedious work, but he felt he owed Pete and he needed to earn a paycheck somehow.

He was renting a small furnished flat in the middle of town. He had bought a few changes of clothes, some toiletries, and a tea kettle. He spent very little time there. It was too small, too quiet. He missed the constant companionship of the TARDIS. Mostly he spent his days wandering the city, watching people, wondering what their stories were. Is this what his life had become? Is this how he was expected to live out the last few decades of his life? A few decades was nothing compared to how long he had already lived, but the time seemed to stretch out endlessly before him.

The Doctor stood up suddenly, upending his chair, and threw some money down on the table before hurrying out of the restaurant. His fellow patrons eyed him quizzically, but he didn't notice or care. He needed air. Outside he began to walk aimlessly, his shoulders hunched, his jacket pulled in tight around him. His emotions threatened to overwhelm him, tears nearly spilling onto his cheeks.

"Get ahold of yourself Doctor." He whispered to himself harshly. "For pity's sake, you're a Time Lord!"

Of course that wasn't entirely true. He was only 56.8% Time Lord, but still, he had the knowledge, the experience, and the education of a Time Lord. How dare Rose accuse him of being arrogant. Well, perhaps he was a bit arrogant, but he had been travelling for hundreds of years, spoke billions of languages, and had saved more lives than she could possibly imagine. Taken more lives than she could imagine for that matter.

At that thought, the tears began to fall. He paid them no heed, simply kept walking letting them slip silently down his face. He was rubbish at being human. Come to think of it, he was rubbish at being a Time Lord too. That's why he had spent centuries running. Some of those years he spent on his own, but he had never felt as alone as he did right now.

He fingered the piece of TARDIS coral in his pocket. He had gotten the last of what he needed to help her grow only three days ago. In about 4 ½ years he could have a fully grown TARDIS of his own again. He could be out there travelling the stars as he had done for centuries. Same old life, last of the Time Lords. But the very thought left a bitter taste in his mouth. He leaned over a trash bin and emptied the contents of his supper into it. No, it was supposed to be the Doctor and Rose Tyler in the TARDIS, wasn't it?

He wiped his mouth with his sleeve. He didn't have a plan, but he knew something had to change.


	3. The Space Between You and Me II

Rose

Rose pushed her chair away from the computer. She had been reading the same paragraph for half an hour and still hadn't a clue what it said. She glanced down at her phone. Three new messages from her mum. She sighed, pushing the delete button. She knew what they would say.

"Rose, have you eaten today? Rose, have you been sleeping? Rose, Mrs. Hudson has a sweet nephew I am dying to set you up with."

She sighed again and glanced at the half-eaten piece of toast and tepid tea at her side. She was trying. Really she was. She had even agreed to go to the pub with a man her mum introduced her to. That was a disaster. Two hours in, and he was completely pissed and trying to undress her.

It had been hard when she was trapped here without the Doctor. So very hard. But at least she had known it wasn't his fault. He hadn't left her. And she had had a purpose: get the dimension canon working, find the Doctor, stop the stars from going out. Now it was worse. He had walked out the door and never looked back. Twice she thought she had seen him at Torchwood, but both times, when she had looked again he was gone.

Pete saw him from time to time, she knew. He told her that the Doctor had moved to a tiny flat across town. He still did some work for Torchwood. But that's about all he would say. When Rose had asked after him, Pete had simply handed her the Doctor's address and phone number. Rose pulled them out of her pocket now and looked at them, fingering the piece of paper.

She desperately wanted to call him. Wanted to hear the way her name rolled off his tongue. She picked up her phone, but then remembered the last time they had spoken. Remembered the determined way he had looked at her just before he walked out the door. She put the phone back down. No, she couldn't call. Not now. Not yet.

Jackie had threatened to slap him back to their original universe. But Rose knew that wasn't fair. Ironically, except for a few physical differences, it was not the Doctor who had changed. He was still the same alien who had first grabbed her hand so long ago. No, it was she who had changed. She was no longer content to simply follow him, living in his shadow. And that was the point. Everything was different now. He was stuck on the slow path, only one life to live, and he refused to change, refused to adapt to his new reality, even for her.

Rose stood up, drinking the last dregs of her tea before crumpling the cup. She didn't know where to go from here. She was miserable without the Doctor, but with things the way they were, she would be miserable with him too. She hurled her crumpled cup at the wall. They had promised each other forever, and that had lasted all of three weeks.


	4. If You See Me Walking By

**Thank you for the Favorites and Follows. **

The Doctor knelt down checking the housing for the TARDIS coral one more time. It had taken him days to get everything just perfect; the right temperature, humidity, and oxygen levels. But he knew that all was well now because he could feel her faint hum in his head. He was amazed and relieved at the feeling. No longer was his mind empty and alone. He had worried that being part human would dampen his telepathic connection with his TARDIS, but for once it seemed the universe had been kind.

He stood abruptly, feeling like a caged animal. He was excited and needed to share his good news with someone. He began to pace. Only one person would understand his joy. Only one person would realize what this meant for him. But did he dare? Would she even want to see him?

He stopped, making up his mind. He would go to her, tell her his news. No expectations, no demands. Just friends, talking. He wanted to be so much more than friends, of course he did. But friends with Rose Tyler was better than no Rose Tyler at all. Grabbing his keys and jacket he raced out the door, feeling lighter than he had in weeks, maybe years.

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The bus pulled to a stop a couple blocks from Rose's flat and the Doctor jumped out. He began to walk the short distance to her place when he glanced up and saw her on the other side of the street. She was walking away from her flat. She was lovely. And she was with a man. He had his hand on her arm and was laughing at something she had just said.

The Doctor gasped and ducked into the shadows. He felt it like a punch in the gut and had no desire for her to see him this way. He should have known. Rose had moved on. She was happy. She did not need him in her life mucking things up. And he would muck things up. He always did. He had ruined so many lives. The faces of his many companions, dead or destroyed because of him, flashed through his mind. No, it was better if he left Rose alone. She was fantastic, brilliant, the defender of the earth. She would do great things without him. He had his TARDIS growing. In a few years he would be back to the stars travelling in his last few decades the way he had for centuries.

Suddenly he fell to his knees, his body wracked with sobs. And there, on a dark street corner in London, the Last of the Time Lords, The Oncoming Storm, The Destroyer of Worlds, released centuries worth of sorrow as the tears streamed down his face. He didn't know how long he stayed like that, didn't really care, but at some point he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see a kindly older man looking at him with concern.

"Are you all right, mate?"

The Doctor stood, wiping his face with his hands.

"Yeah," he forced out. "Of course. I'm always all right."

And turning around, he silently headed for home knowing for him, at least, the universe would always be cruel.


	5. Man In The Mirror

Someone was knocking on the Doctor's door. He had no idea who it could be since no one came around except Torchwood. And they always called beforehand. Frankly he didn't care who it was and decided to simply ignore it. He was putting the finishing touches on his new sonic screwdriver. It didn't have all the settings his old one did, but it would do for now.

The knocking turned into pounding, and he thought he had better open the door before his visitor simply kicked it in. Sighing he stood up and walked to the door. Getting ready to run the person off, he opened it.

"Jackie." He sputtered.

Jackie had been all set to lay into the Doctor, perhaps even giving him one of her famous Tyler slaps. But as soon as she saw him her anger fled.

"Oh Doctor," she said, shaking her head. "What have ya gone and done?"

The Doctor made no move to let Jackie in, so she simply pushed her way past him and headed for the kitchen muttering about him needing a proper cuppa.

"Jackie Tyler." He thought. "She believes the whole universe could be saved with a slap and a cup of tea."

Since he was obviously not going to be rid of her, he followed her into the kitchen and sat at the table, waiting for her to speak her piece. It wasn't until she set the steaming mug in front of him that she began to talk.

"You two are so stubborn," she began. "Look at you. Both of you miserable, and neither one of ya willing to bend."

"I don't know what you're talking about," the Doctor sniffed.

"Doctor, Rose needs you and you need her…."

"I don't need anyone," he roared, cutting her off and slamming his fists on the table. "I am a Time Lord. I have lived for nearly a thousand years. I can bloody well take care of myself!"

"Now don't you go giving me none of that 'I am so superior and can make it on my own nonsense.' Have you looked at yourself lately? I mean have you really taken a good look at yourself?"

Jackie pulled the Doctor up from his chair and steered him to a mirror. "Look at yourself. Does that look like a man who is doing fine on his own? Does that look like a man who doesn't need anybody?"

The Doctor's shoulders slumped. He was a wreck, and he knew it. Jackie was right, of course.

Slowly he shook his head. "It doesn't matter Jackie. Rose has moved on without me. I might need her, but she doesn't need me. And it's better this way, me out of her life. I'll have the TARDIS soon, head back to the stars, and I'll become nothing but a memory for her. Maybe she'll think about me now and then. Tell her children the tales of her adventures with me."

"What are you going on about Doctor? Rose loves you. Goodness knows why, but there you have. She always has. Suppose she always will."

"But Jackie," the Doctor argued, "I saw her Friday before last enjoying a good time with her, erm, gentleman friend. She looked happy."

Jackie reached out to smack his arm.

"You half alien git!" she shrieked. "For someone who thinks he is so very clever, you really are thick!"

The Doctor rubbed his arm and tried to protest, but Jackie cut him off.

"Danny has been a family friend for years. He had to tickets to the theater but at the last minute his fiancé (and here she emphasized the word) fell ill, so he asked Rose to go along. As a friend. Because that's all he is to her."

"Oh," the Doctor breathed out. "Oh."

"Yeah," responded Jackie.

"Well, I've really bollocksed this up, haven't I?" he muttered rubbing the back of his neck. "I didn't… I wasn't… How do I fix this Jackie?" He looked at her pleadingly.

"The first thing you ought to do is put that gob of yours to good use. Talk to Rose. I mean really talk. You're always running off at the mouth, but you rarely actually say anything."

He swallowed and nodded, "Yeah. OK. Talk."

"Good. I'll leave ya alone then," Jackie said as she began to turn away.

"Jackie." The Doctor touched her shoulder. "I, um….. thank you."

Jackie turned back towards him. "Oh come here you plum," she said opening her arms.

He stepped into her arms and allowed himself to be comforted, for just a moment, by a trademark Jackie Tyler hug.


	6. Loneliness Made Me Realize

Rose walked into her flat. She wasn't surprised to see the light on in her kitchen. She often left it on when going out. What she was surprised to see was the man sitting at her kitchen table. Her keys slid from her hand to the floor. His hair was flat, his eyes red rimmed. He was impossibly thin and unshaven. His clothes were rumpled. It appeared he hadn't eaten or slept in weeks. And yet, he was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen.

"Doctor," she whispered. "How did you…"

"I'm sorry. I still had a key. I didn't sonic the door or anything. Though I could have. I've got me a new sonic. Not as good as the old one, but still it gets the job done. I… Right. Sorry. I shouldn't have come. I'll just leave." He stood to go.

"No, it's okay. I'll make us some tea, yeah?"

The corners of the Doctors mouth turned up slightly as he nodded. Neither of them spoke as she made the preparations. The Doctor watched her every move as if he were trying to memorize her. He gave a small smile when she put four spoonfulls of sugar and a splash of milk in his mug. She remembered how he took his tea.

Finally she placed a mug in front of him and sat at the other side of the table.

"Rose I," he began, scrubbing his hands down his face. "Oh, I am rubbish at this. Can we…talk?"

"Yeah," she replied. "Course."

The Doctor took a deep breath before beginning. "Rose, the truth is, I'm rubbish on my own. Always have been. It's why I travelled with companions."

She opened her mouth to disagree, but her cut her off.

"No, please, this is difficult enough for me. Just let me say my piece. Please."

She nodded.

"I'm no good on my own. I'm clever, sure. Can discuss every aspect of time travel in five million languages. But when it comes to the important stuff, I haven't got a clue. And now, with this new life, well, I don't know how to do it, Rose. I don't know how to be… human. I need someone." And here his voice broke.

He took a deep breath, fighting to maintain control. "I need you."

"It won't be easy. I can't change overnight. I haven't had to answer to anyone in a long time, and even before, even when they…" He stopped, shaking his head. "Well I was no good at following their rules either. Was forced to regenerate and exiled to earth because of it actually," he added with a grimace. "But I'm willing to try, if you'll help me."

His ancient eyes bored into her, pleading with her. He shifted in his chair as he waited. Perhaps it was too late. Maybe he had hurt her too deeply. He swallowed thickl,y ready to leave, but then she reached her hand across the table to take his.

"How about we start over Doctor? From the beginning. As friends."

A flicker of disappointment crossed his eyes before he hid it with a smile.

"Yeah," he replied "I'd like that."

Then a grin split his face as he jumped up and ran around to her side of the table. Grabbing her hand he asked, "What's your name then?"

She smiled, her tongue between her teeth. "Rose Tyler."

"Well Rose Tyler, pleased to me you. I'm the Doctor."

Then he leaned down and whispered just one word in her ear, "Run!"


	7. A New Beginning

_**I apologize, I do not know how to respond to individual reviews on here, but please know I read and appreciate each one. And if anyone knows how I can respond to them, please let me know :)**_

It's been months since they started over, beginning again as friends. At first it had been an awkward dance between the two, trying to figure out how to move around the other, how to act in each other's presence. They had stopped and started in fits, slowly, gradually moving forward until they reached a comfortable place.

Now they were back to where they had been when they were different people, at ease as best mates should be. He held her hand as they walked. She smiled, laughed, put her hand on his arm. They flirted and teased the way they always had, but the line to more had not yet been crossed.

It had not been easy. He had once been a lord of time, and then The Lord of Time, with the weight of the universe on his shoulders. Learning to put the weight down, even just a little, was a slow and wearisome process. Being the most clever person on the planet made it hard to listen to anyone, hard to think that they had anything to say that he needed to hear. She had been a naïve 19 girl when they had first met, and seeing her as the mature, world weary woman she had become was not easy. But he had promised to try, and he threw himself fully into that promise, learning little by little to be more human.

She had to remember that he was still the same alien she had fallen in love with all those years before. He had been arrogant, impulsive, and a little dangerous then too. She couldn't entirely fault him those characteristics now, not when she had promised him forever knowing exactly who he was. He was worth it she knew, as he always had been.

Waiting, watching, learning each other anew, they began to fall in love with one another all over again.

On Sunday afternoon they sit eating at their favorite café. She is just putting a chip in her mouth. He is telling her about the time he met Leonardo De Vinci. She laughs at something he has said. Suddenly he stops mid-sentence, and then….,

"Rose Tyler, I love you."

His eyes widen as he sits back in his chair, stunned that the words had actually left his mouth. He runs his hands roughly through his hair.

"Erm, I didn't….ah, that is, I know it's too soon…you wanted…just forget I said that."

Rose swallows the chip in her mouth. She slowly licks the salt off her fingers and then leans towards the still stammering Doctor.

"I love you too, Doctor," she whispers with a grin.

Then she gives him a gentle kiss on the lips, stands up, and walks towards the door.


	8. I Promised you Forever

_**The final chapter of this particular story in their life. I have a lot more stories about Rose and meta-crisis Doctor to transfer from Whofic, so if you enjoyed this one, please be on the look-out for those.**_

_**I note on the name I give the Doctor here: Jason means Healer. Theta is for his nickname on Gallifrey. And Noble is of course for Donna. So, in my own personal head canon that's his name :)**_

The Doctor sits at the table, bits and bobs of what might once have been a microwave spread out in front of him. His brainy specs are perched on his nose, his sonic screwdriver held in his right hand as he closely exams a piece of wire. His concentration is complete as he touches the tip of this tongue to the roof of his mouth.

Rose stands in the doorway observing him. She loves to watch him like this. It is these times that he seems most at ease with himself. In those moments it doesn't matter how many hearts he has, or who he once was. He is simply the Doctor with his gadgets, doing what he loves.

She quietly crosses the room to sit at the table with him. His brief upward glance is the only acknowledgement that he knows she's there. She sits there for a long time, not speaking, simply admiring the man she loves. Sometimes it takes her breath away, these little moments. She is still amazed that he is here, with her. Finally, she breaks the silence.

"Doctor, did Time Lords get married?"

She is stunned. When she began that sentence this was not how she planned on ending it. But now that it is out there she waits, curious as to what his answer will be.

He leans back in his chair, crossing his arms and creasing his brow.

"Well of course Rose, all sentient beings have some form of marriage, though many would not be recognized as such by you lot. Why the Koraz'ii for example take off their left shoes and…"

She raises her eyebrows at him.

"Yes, right, sorry. You asked about Time Lords. Well, marriage for a Time Lord was not like it is here on earth. It was more a business arrangement to unite families or political factions."

"You mean Time Lords didn't…. fall in love?" she asks haltingly. Did that mean he hadn't loved her? Was it only his humanity that allowed him to lover her now?

"Oh, they were a pompous, arrogant lot. Didn't have much patience for sentimentalities. Wasn't always that way of course. And there were always the rebellious ones who …. But it was frowned upon. They were supposed to be above those sorts of base desires."

"Who what, Doctor," she asks, picking up on his half-finished thought.

"Hmmmm?" His brow creases.

"You said there were the rebellious ones. What did they do?"

"Ah, well, there was an ancient ceremony, still practiced by the non-Time Lords on Gallifrey. The bonding ceremony." He tugs his ear, seeming a bit uncomfortable even bringing this up.

"What, so that's like a wedding ceremony then?"

"Yes, well, no. No it's… it's much deeper than that. It's a uniting of body and mind. It's… once done it can't be undone without great cost. It's like giving a piece of your very soul to one another."

"Body and mind? You mean, like, you would go into each other's heads?"

"That's part of it, yes."

The silence between them stretches for several moments. Both of them lost in their own thoughts. He thinks of a past and people long gone, she thinks of a future still stretching ahead of them. Slowly Rose risess and walks around the table to stand in front of him.

"Show me," she whispers taking his hands in hers.

The Doctor gasps. Is she really asking what he thinks? His single heart stutters.

"Rose, are you sure? For me, this would be forever. There would be no going back. Are you sure you want that… with me?"

She can't believe that he still doesn't know, still doubts her intentions.

"Oh Doctor," she sighs, "How can you still question that? I made that promise long ago. I promised you forever, remember?"

He remembers, of course he remembers, but that was so long ago, back when he had two hearts beating in his chest and the laws of time at his command. He stares at her, into her, if she is honest. His dark eyes seem to bore to her very soul, as if he is trying to read her inner most thoughts.

Finally, satisfied with what he sees, he nods and slowly gets to his feet. His eyes never leave hers. He lets go of her hands and carefully removes his tie. Reaching his right hand for hers, he clasps it and winds the tie around their joined hands. His eyes are steady and intense, but she can feel the depths of his emotions in way that his hand trembles in hers.

Finally, he speaks.

"I, Jason Theta Noble, known as The Doctor, of the House of Lungbarrow, do freely give myself to you, Rose Marion Tyler, for all of our forever." He stops, waiting for her to respond.

Softly she begins "I, Rose Marion Tyler, do freely give myself to you, Doctor, for all of our forever."

The Doctor then begins to speak in the lilting language of his people. She cannot understand the words, but she can feel them around them, binding her and the Doctor together like invisible cords. Then he is leaning forward, until his lips are next to her ear. She can feel his warm breath caressing the side of her face. She waits, perfectly still, somehow knowing what comes next. He speaks just one word, a word both beautiful and frightening. She knows immediately that it is his name. She feels it in her very being, like having a part of his soul united to hers. And knowing his name, she knows him, more deeply than she has ever known anyone in her life. He is hers and she is his. Forever.

His eyes still glued to hers, he unwinds the tie from their hands, and raises his to cup her face. Then his lips are on hers as he gently kisses her. She feels his love for her like a wave crashing over her. It nearly overwhelms her. She responds to him, their passion for one another taking over. She can feel what he feels, see what he sees. She can no longer tell where he begins and she ends. Everything else disappears. There is nothing, just the Doctor and Rose, as the two of them finally give themselves over completely to one another.


End file.
